Campaign Theme & Narrative from Children's Hospital Foundation

Margaret,

I'm following up on your theme/narrative since we didn't have a chance to connect on last week's web session.

There are a couple things that I really like about your narrative and overall thinking so far:

1. You've done your homework and have concrete examples of compelling personal stories that convey the impact that donors have on the lives of children and their families. Each vignette you've provided is about the right length for a web-based communication/appeal. Combining one brief paragraph that describes the child's situation/need with a second brief paragraph about the impact that the hospital had, followed by a "Help us provide the same level of care to other kids like " is the kind of short and to-the-point fundraising that generally does well online. You can always follow this pattern with more info/background/etc. in the appeal, but it's important to get to the point quickly at the beginning of your message and provide the first/primary call to action quickly thereafter.
2. The idea of distributing UNO cards is simple, compelling, and tangible for your donors and prospective donors. The $25 giving level tied to providing these cards is accessible and meaningful in that context. I'd love to see a subject line like "Tell Ryan he's #1" or "Show our kids who's #1" - something short and intriguing that ties to the idea, in the body of your message, that a gift of $25 will bring a smile to "kids like Ryan who have made UNO our most-requested game this holiday". You can talk about how providing a playful, welcoming environment makes a hospital stay less frightening to kids like Ryan, especially during the holidays; this kind of asks put the donor right in the middle of the experience with a meaningful role to play.

If you had either a matching gift opportunity, or a specific goal for the campaign (e.g. 500 packages of UNO - enough for every kid to take home their own deck of cards in 2010) - I think you'd have all the makings of a very compelling campaign.

Personally, I would shy away from an end-of-year theme that puts too much emphasis on New Years or a New Years Resolution. A couple of your subject lines hint at this theme. I would focus on a more emotional, holiday-centric theme for December. I've seen "New Years Resolution"-type themes work well in January as the New Year gets started.

-patrick