Trustees Email Text
Hi all,
We've had some various developments coming together over the past month, including an end-of-year giving challenge from our board, that I think we've finally been able to meld into some text for the campaign. I'd love some feedback. A few things to keep in mind: at our most basic, we're a land conservation organization that owns and cares for more than 100 reservations across Massachusetts, all of which are open for the public to enjoy. This campaign is aimed at members of our organization who have never given beyond their membership dues before, but who are familiar with and engaged in our mission.
Thanks!
Laurie O'Reilly
Comments
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Hi Laurie.
I think what you've written and put together is very strong. It flows well, is encouraging and grateful to the constituents and ties directly to your mission and a recent success.
I think my only recommendation is to try to emphasize the matching gift element of this appeal/opportunity a little bit more. Now, if someone were reading this e-mail from top to bottom and word for word, they would get this and it would be perfectly clear.
But we know that people tend to skim e-mails rather than read in a linear fashion. I like the first two paragraphs because they thank constituents and tell a good story. What I would consider doing is adding in the link text, which is in a different color and could even be bolded -- and therefore, likely to stand out to those skimming the message -- a reference to the matching gift info.
We know from experience that matching gift campaigns can be very successful and can even at times outperform other appeals, so I just don't want that piece to get lost.
Maybe the text with the link could read: "Please give today -- and have your gift doubled -- to help protect the irreplaceable landscapes and landmarks, like Cornell Farm, that make Massachusetts the place you want to call home."
You can leave in the line below that explains the matching gift (that it comes from the Board, etc.) But you definitely want to emphasize that each dollar really equals two dollars -- and that this expires on Dec. 31. That adds a good sense of urgency to the message. Maybe you could add this to the P.S. at the bottom.
Scott
0 -
ScottGilman :
Hi Laurie.
I think what you've written and put together is very strong. It flows well, is encouraging and grateful to the constituents and ties directly to your mission and a recent success.
I think my only recommendation is to try to emphasize the matching gift element of this appeal/opportunity a little bit more. Now, if someone were reading this e-mail from top to bottom and word for word, they would get this and it would be perfectly clear.
But we know that people tend to skim e-mails rather than read in a linear fashion. I like the first two paragraphs because they thank constituents and tell a good story. What I would consider doing is adding in the link text, which is in a different color and could even be bolded -- and therefore, likely to stand out to those skimming the message -- a reference to the matching gift info.
We know from experience that matching gift campaigns can be very successful and can even at times outperform other appeals, so I just don't want that piece to get lost.
Maybe the text with the link could read: "Please give today -- and have your gift doubled -- to help protect the irreplaceable landscapes and landmarks, like Cornell Farm, that make Massachusetts the place you want to call home."
You can leave in the line below that explains the matching gift (that it comes from the Board, etc.) But you definitely want to emphasize that each dollar really equals two dollars -- and that this expires on Dec. 31. That adds a good sense of urgency to the message. Maybe you could add this to the P.S. at the bottom.
Scott
Thanks, Scott. This is very helpful. I was concerned that the matching gift text was a little lost. Should it also be mentioned in the sidebar? Or would the link and the P.S. be enough? We do have a "logo" that we've created for the campaign (it's called the "Twice as Green Annual Giving Challenge") but I was worried that introducing that name and graphic element would be too much.
Also, I have a quick question about the two versions of the e-card. Is the donor version meant for people who have responded to the first email with a donation? I just want to be sure I'm thinking about the messaging correctly.
Thank you!
Laurie
0 -
Laurie O'Reilly:
Thanks, Scott. This is very helpful. I was concerned that the matching gift text was a little lost. Should it also be mentioned in the sidebar? Or would the link and the P.S. be enough? We do have a "logo" that we've created for the campaign (it's called the "Twice as Green Annual Giving Challenge") but I was worried that introducing that name and graphic element would be too much.
Also, I have a quick question about the two versions of the e-card. Is the donor version meant for people who have responded to the first email with a donation? I just want to be sure I'm thinking about the messaging correctly.
Thank you!
Laurie
Hi Laurie.
I think with the link, the P.S. and especially the logo, you're getting the message across. At that point you probably don't need to mention it in the sidebar as well.
Yes, the donor version is meant for those who've contributed to this campaign. If you want it to target all donors, please indicate that on your EOY Fundraising Guide.
Scott
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